toxicat13

• I have got to knock it off with this Fast Food kick I’ve been on. It’s proof that a habit is a habit, good or bad.
• I had 2 tacos and a burrito at Taco Bell today for dinner.
• I didn’t eat lunch, but I had 1 Mike’s Hard Lemonade and a glass of wine.
• I’ve been really stressed and depressed lately… potential new job is great but.. stressful whether I get it or not. Plus other random things.
• My girlfriend is asleep on the couch tonight since she always has horrible back pain (and etc.) so I couldn’t cook anything. I probably would have had nachos as a first choice, but would have quickly realized we don’t have tortilla chips. Then I would have made a fat free pinto bean burrito with organic shredded cheddar cheese, in what I think is a carb friendly tortilla wrap. If that wouldn’t have worked out, then I probably would have had those organic tater tots with organic ketchup. And likely nothing else. Which is lame of me = all carbs. So, because she was asleep, I ended up eating deli meat (few slices of chicken, few slices of turkey bologna, both of which are natural and organic), and 3 slices of 2% american cheese. Not bad. No bread. And plenty of protein. But no idea what the actual nutrition info is. Couldn’t find it. So didn’t add to my menu of junk I ate today (Tuesday).
• Since I’ve been eating all of this CRAP the last few weeks, I am certain that’s why I FEEL more like the crap I eat, too. I feel so tired and lethargic and annoyed.

Food Log

I told myself not to go to Chipotle because it’s too much sodium and I’ve been eating too much lately. After hearing my mother say that she was cooking mac and cheese, I decided this sounded great. On my dinner break at work, I went to Boston Market. Thinking I would eat veggies and a small serving of mac and cheese, and even baked chicken… surely this was better? I ended up ordering the new crispy chicken, mac and cheese, and creamed spinach… okay, and sweet potatoes. BUT, this is all I had. Not that it’s good to eat everything all at once, haha. But it was good!!! Oh well!

• I had Wendy’s. Fries, and soda. And of course the cheeseburger.
• For dinner I had Chipotle- three tacos. But I didn’t get sour cream or cheese. That counts for something, right? haha. I ordered water with it.
• I worked my booty off at work. Very physical job. Lifted paint all day- 5 gallon buckets- well, for about 3 consecutive hours. I could feel the burn in my abs. Or maybe that was indigestion from the gross but yummy Wendy’s.
• I can do better than this. I will.
• Caffeine helped me move around and get things done. Energy drinks- another thing I rarely consume.
• Stress makes a difference, and so does working 11 days straight with only one day off. I’m not making excuses. Just sayin’. It’s harder!!!
• But……….. as hypocritical and girl that cried freaking wolf as it sounds… I feel good things to come, big changes, and I can do this!
• P.S. I used to weigh 185 a few years ago, lost 15 lbs last year, and gained 5 back. I am at 161-165 now, teetering between those numbers. So i do know that losing weight is possible.
• I have an hour break every day at work. i wonder if walking 30 minutes a day will help, or make things worse? I walk on concrete floors all day, 5 days a week, so it always hurts.. I need custom fit orthotics.

• I didn’t have enough water yesterday.
• I snacked on dehydrated apples. Those were so good. I have some left for later.
• I had Taco Bell AND a soda. Ouch. Why? Because I was in a hurry before work, so I didn’t pack my lunch. The sad thing? I wasn’t even hungry. I just knew I needed to eat, and nothing else sounded good. I had a large Pepsi with it too. I ordered a #1… Burrito Supreme, Hard Taco Supreme. Oh well.
• Dinner… a healthy little blueberry wheat free cereal bar. It was good actually. I would have had something I probably could have done without if Kelly wasn’t asleep on the couch downstairs. Yay for that! I couldn’t heat anything up and didn’t want to make a lot of noise, so I didn’t eat, haha. Love it.
• Worked out a decent amount… at work… well, I wasn’t lazy! Could’ve had a more active day than that.

I’m really not too fond of that web site. It’s so cluttered and hard to navigate. Otherwise it’d be great. So I am back to BuddySlim. We’ll see how this goes. Also, I am addicted to Chipotle lately. Way too much sodium, for one. Eeek.

In March, I got the flu. I drank Tussionex for a month straight. My throat was always dry. I craved juice, fruits, and virtually anything cold. I wasn’t hungry much at all. At this same time, I began taking Metformin ER, which is the extended release of the medication I’ve taken for 4 years, since 2004. My appetite has decreased substantially. My girlfriend Kelly and I don’t go out to eat like we used to. She had her gallbladder taken out, and has lost about 15-20 lbs. in the last 2 months. She doesn’t eat dairy products or anything that contains dairy, and she is also on a pretty strict gluten-free diet as well. Since she has major limitations, it keeps us from eating out all the time like we used to. But when we do go out, we enjoy it more now. I was 174 lbs. in March, and I am currently teetering around 157 lbs. I’ve also been involved in college classes, and working a lot- well, not that I necessarily work more hours than normal, but it’s an extremely physical job. Yesterday I cheated and had a burrito and taco supreme from Taco Bell, but that’s once a month or so, if that. I was honestly full after one taco and a couple of bites of the burrito, so my downside was that I ate more than I really wanted. I could eat two tacos and definitely be full. And skip the soda, water instead. You know, if the temptation is there every now and then. For dinner I had Tostitos tortilla chips with fresh salsa from Harris Teeter’s produce section, meaning they made it there in the store so it was all tomatos and peppers of sorts, few spices.. and I had some sour cream and cheese with them as well. And then a peach. I’m doing good. I pay attention to how food makes me feel, drinks too. Sodas of any kind make me bloated. Carbs- breads and pastas and potatos, rice- make me super bloated. I don’t like that feeling!